Just another teenage girl from Australia who is far too obsessed with far too many things, including but definitely not limited to Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Starkid, Sherlock, Supernatural, Merlin and Avatar the Last Airbender, as well as quite a few entertainers of the Youtube variety.
My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other
Bryan Fuller. (via drhanniballecter)
Imagine Muggleborns having patronuses that represent something from Muggle culture that they feel protected by. A shy Hufflepuff with a Pikachu patronus. A Slytherin who’s really nervous because of all the stuff in the past and they’re Muggleborn but they cast a patronus and it’s one of the Game of Thrones dragons. A Gryffindor being the talk of the common room because of their Jaeger patronus. A Ravenclaw with a comic obsession finding out their patronus is the Hulk.
Student: can I please use the bathroom?
Teachers: why are you taking your bag?
This happened in my English class one time and the girl who was going picked up her bag as she got up and the male teacher just said “Put your bag down and go to the bathroom.” and without any hesitation she just said, “I need something in it there is blood coming out of my vagina.” He never made girls leave their bags again.
Favorite Dan Howell Quotes:
- Because I was the human fucking embodiment of Winne the Pooh, I chose not to say anything
- I was waiting for Satan’s giant cock to erupt from the ground and fuck me up the ass
- Did I buy a fucking radioactive hamster?!
- I was unintentionally Jesus, that’s what I’m saying here
- So in conclusion, I would rather be anally sodomized by a cactus than go through US Airways again
- My esophagus must literally be the size of a squirrel anus